Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Sexual Interest And Desires

If you talk of sexual interest, either gender would have opposing opinions. Women consider men to interpret women’s friendliness with sexual undertones. And often, men simply find it hard to know the difference.

AMERICAN screenwriter/producer Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, observed: “Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love; clarity of hatred; and the ecstasy of grief.” And perhaps, to top it all, confusion of the heart; the confused heart is really the confused mind.

Studies on the difference between genders in the perception of sexual interest and desires have been consistent: men tend to perceive feminine behavior toward them as sexually motivated. And studies from more than 15 years ago, and still upheld today, confirm that this gender difference is stable and is readily replicable.

Researchers from Indiana University and Yale University, led by Corren Farris, discovered that this tendency is not so much because of hastiness in men to decide toward perceiving sexual intent, as it is with his perceptual difficulty to differentiate cues of friendliness and sexual interest from women in social situations.

In a study published in Psychological Science, Farris and colleagues observed that both men and women do not over-sexualize behavioral cues observed. But men tend to misinterpret nonverbal cues from women more often.

In fact, in terms of positive affect such as attraction, women show much better capability to correctly interpret nonverbal cues. Although in negative affect, such as sadness and rejection, the difference between men and women is not that far.

“Women probably rely on men’s behavioral cues to infer men’s perception of interest,” explained Farris. “Men who appeared to have misperceived friendliness as sexual interest may not have misperceived at all but continued advance in order to convince, cajole, or persuade.”

Conversely, men who were reported by women as having misinterpreted their sexual interest as friendliness, and failed to pursue according to the sexual cue, may actually have no interest in the pursuit anyway.

If this issue on sexual cues were not confusing enough, this second dose would be most appropriate: “The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man” (French-speaking Swiss author Madame de Stael).

Thinking about it, desires can be very confusing, indeed, even to a rational human being. That is why STD dating sites like PositiveCupid.com and PositiveMeeting.com are full of helpful information. Sign up is free for lifetime ads. Never feel alone or confused again.